Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize