When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
