end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize