So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
