im having a threesome with these popsicles
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize