You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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