It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
