hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
There's even glitter on my cock...
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