he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
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