First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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