i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
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