Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
