A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
