i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Randomize
