Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
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