So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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