Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
