dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Two words: blizzard sex
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
