She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
