It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
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