just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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