You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
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