HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
