is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
