I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
either way he was missing a nipple.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
His nipple licking is glorious
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