Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
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