apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
Randomize