so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
i love accidental penises.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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