What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Randomize