ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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