You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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