It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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