You can't motorboat a personality
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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