I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Randomize
