I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Use "feeling words"
Yay
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize