porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
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