So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize
