Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
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