And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize