If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
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