I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
ugly people sure do ruin things
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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