Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
Randomize
