Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Randomize
