Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
