I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
