Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
