i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Randomize
