I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Randomize
