Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
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