Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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