I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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