do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Randomize
