How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
