hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize