also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
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