you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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