your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
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