i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
Too much gin, very little bucket
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Randomize
