Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Randomize
