I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Randomize